The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
