I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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