I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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