What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
