so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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