I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
