I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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