It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
