dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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