Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
