i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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