I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
