Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize