The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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