Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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