she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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