oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
