the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
