So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
