He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I faked an abortion last night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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