fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I hope mine doesn't look like that
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
