dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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