Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
