best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
