i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize