If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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