He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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