once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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