so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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