well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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