now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
only if we run a train.
done.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
