Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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