I think im going to throw up on grandma
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
