I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
