party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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