wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
