i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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