Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
