She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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