he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
vagina is talking i cant
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
