Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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