yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
