I need to stop coming to work sober
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
