He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
