this beer tastes like vomit already
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
