She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You took a bar mat shot.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
