Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
