oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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