That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
