yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
