her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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