If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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