i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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