i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
