I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
