A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Alive.
So much puke
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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