why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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